You know you're out of shape when...

Yesterday Caroline and I started our first Body and Soul Aerobics class. It was a lot of fun and we did get a good workout. It was also a bit humbling and revealing about my personal fitness level and coordination (or lack there of).

For any of you who have participated in aerobics, you know the scenario. The instructor calls out moves and demonstrates up front while you follow along. Sounds easy enough. Now add some music, pick up the pace, hold in your stomach, try not to trip or pass gas and you've got yourself a workout. While I did manage all of that I couldn't seem to master my left from my right or my forward from backward. Instead I developed my own personal routine of ambiguous moves and kicks. At least I was moving and somehow managed not to trample anyone. I thought I did a pretty good job of being inconspicous. Apparently I was wrong.

When it was time to slow it down a bit and work with the elastic bands I started to feel a little more confident. How hard can it be, right? Let's just say at one point the instructor came off the stage to show me how to hold the bands correctly. It was o.k. though because the PREGNANT instructor was keeping everyone else on track! AGGGH!

The floor exercises were fun. We did squats and the instructor related the stance to the one you take when positioning yourself over a public toilet. Now this I could do! I knew those bathroom phobias would come in handy at some point.

After class the instructor mentioned that next time I might want to move to her side of the room so I would have a better vantage point. Apparently looking diagonally across a room can really wreak havoc on your coordination. Who knew? "Now remember" she says "when we move right, you move left." Then she glanced down at my shoes and gently mentioned that I should get a sneaker with better support. I thought the cute Payless slip-ons were rather stylish but when one fell off during the class I quickly discovered for myself my erroneous thinking. I guess she saw that too.

Now to add insult to injury (or at least strained stomach muscles) when we first arrived, as is my way, we were some of the first people there. Someday I will learn that early isn't always better. We took a spot somewhere in the middle of the auditorium. What I didn't realize until we were well into second song is that middle somehow became the front row! This is disturbing on so many levels...for me as well as the unfortunate women behind me! Caroline later informed me that she thought we were a little close to the front. Someone ought to teach that child to SPEAK UP!

Friday is our next class. Hopefully by then I'll be able to take a deep breath without it feeling like someone has hit me in the ribs with a baseball bat. Then, once I've gathered the remains of my dignity and shopped for a new pair of sneakers, I'll hold my head high, arrive 5 minutes late, and take my place at the very back of the class!

Simply stated: What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger. Right?!