Somebody stop me!

I've vacuumed a lot of things in my day including using one vacuum cleaner to vacuum another. Today, however, I reached an extreme in my vacuuming career. Let me back up for a second and explain that spring in Arkansas brings pollen and more pollen. It coats everything. When I get in the car after having left it to sit in the driveway for more than a few hours, I have to use the windshield wipers to swoosh away the dusting of pollen. There's no measurable snow in Little Rock but accumulations of pollen we've got. Oh, and if I don't sweep the front steps there will be actual footprints in the pollen (this is not an exaggeration). This in turn gets tracked into the house and then I have to vacuum.

Earlier today I was vacuuming in the kitchen using the dusting attachment. You know doing the blinds and air vents and baseboards and such. Good times...good times. This makes me sound like a good housekeeper which I'm really not. I just really enjoy vacuuming and will choose it over any other household chore.

In the midst of my vacuuming induced trance, I hear Shorty barking at the door to come in. I let him in without incident only to realize that he has been outside for more than 5 minutes and is absolutely covered with pollen. So I vacuumed him. At least I tried. It was more like a dance whereby I have his collar in one hand and the vacuum hose in the other and Shorty spins us both in circles trying to avoid the crazy women with the super sucker. I only got one good swipe at him which left him looking more like a deranged skunk than our beloved family pet. I hope he doesn't have a seizure today. I'll just have to revert back to wiping him down with a damp paper towel every time he comes in the house.

Maria is outside playing now. I've put the vacuum away...just in case.

Simply stated: It seemed like a good idea at the time.