Some Simple Things I Find Very Satisfying

I found this idea on another blogger's site and thought I'd try this out for myself.

Folding warm towels right out of the dryer.
Singing praise songs ... really loud ... by myself.
Back scratches.
The smell of new tires (I know, we've been down this road before).
Coming home.
My morning diet coke -- straight from the can.
Our bed ... especially with clean sheets.
Vacuum cleaner lines in the carpet.
Knowing everyone is safe at home for the night.
A perfectly carbonated diet coke.
Listening to Caroline and Maria giggling.
Children praying.
Sunday lunch after church.
My last diet coke before bed. (hmmm. This may be more of an addiction)
"Drop out days" where we agree to accomplish nothing.

The list could go on and on but now it's your turn. Let me know some of your simple pleasures.

Simply stated: Life is good.

Updated "Non-Mom"

Our voices were heard...power to the people! Within hours of receiving my email, and countless others just like it no doubt, I received an apology from Teleflora and a statement that they were changing the name of the category to Adopting Moms. I think this was a great move on their part. Given the short time frame to the actual broadcast of the contest results show, I don't know how much more they could have done. Sometimes all a person wants is a sincere apology.

Some adopted parents feel strongly that we shouldn't be in a separate category at all. I'm still trying to form my opinion on that one. While I understand the thought process behind this argument (we're all mothers) I do think that the adopted mom role is different. This next statement is important....different is NOT bad and it is NOT inferior. It's just...well...different.

Mothering an adopted child has been one of the greatest personal growth experiences for me. I don't take the privilege of being Maria's mom for granted. It is a priceless gift that came at a much greater emotional and financial cost than with my older children. It has made me think more about my actions as a mom rather than reacting purely on emotion and knee-jerk reactions. I'm certainly not doing it perfectly, but I know that I'm parenting much more intentionally than ever before.

I love all of my children equally but I love them all differently as well. Bio or adopted, there's no sweeter name than "Mom."

Simply stated: Different is not bad, it's just different.

Apparently I'm a "non-mom"

Although I have strong opinions on most everything, I seldom act on those opinions by writing letters or boycotting companies. The time has come to speak up!

Teleflora along with some other sponsors (such as NBC) are having an America's Favorite Mom contest where you choose your favorite mom candidate from several different categories. I was appalled, irate, enraged (I can't find the right word) when I read that adoptive moms are in the "non-mom" category. OMG! The previous sentence screams of ludicrousy!

I immediately sent an email to Teleflora (fortunately...for them...I only had 300 characters so my rant was limited). I wrote the following:

"As an adoptive mom I am truly offended by your recent Mother's Day contest featuring adoptive moms in the "non-Mom" category. We are real mom's with real children. My adopted child has the same privileges (in my heart and in the courts) as my children by birth. This view of adoptive mom's as "non-moms" is hurtful and harmful to every adopted child and the adoptive community. Your carelessness sends the message that these children are somehow less than their peers who had the advantage of being born into their families. Please reconsider this category in future promotions and perhaps educate yourselves on proper adoption terminology and etiquette. Thank you for your time."

I'll have to stew on this and write more later. I'm so mad I can hardly see straight...or spell.

Simply Stated: I'm glad I used 1-800-Flowers to send our Mother's Day gift!

17 Years Ago Today...

our Zachary John came into the world. What a blessing he is! We had a nice dinner and invited Zack's friend Elizabeth and our family friend Benjamin to join us. Don is in Chicago and Alex had to work. Even with them missing it was a great evening of laughing and fun conversation.


I've been thinking back on Zack's childhood a lot today and realizing how much of his personality showed up with him that May morning and hasn't changed much since. For instance...


...there's the hair thing. Zack has always been a bit freakish particular about his hair. Ever since that first ill-fated crew cut, the need to be in control of his hair has been of utmost importance to Zack. Remember the adorable bowl cut?

...there's the audio-video thing. When Zack was about 9 he just wanted to be able to play music so we got him a Karaoke machine for his birthday. He never sang along with it but I know he had it wired for sound. He was dubbed "Mix-Master Zack" by my sister, Leslie. Now his room is filled with a 50 inch rear projection TV, audio mixers, computers, and ipods. Most Sunday's you'll find him in the sound booth at church.

...there's the "wheels" thing. From pushing around his favorite truck as a toddler to towing a little blue wagon on the back of his bike, Zack has been enamored by anything with wheels. This year's birthday was all about his Jeep...new roof rack, floormats, and even a special dusting brush for keeping the pollen off. He spent most of the afternoon working out in the driveway on his car. How convenient that he had to use my car with the full tank of gas to pick up Elizabeth and drive her home because his car is in a few different pieces. The boy's no dummy! (UPDATE: When Zack got home he handed me a five dollar bill for gas. How cool is that?)

It seems like only yesterday I was listening for his cry in the other room letting me know that he was hungry. Now I sit here typing listening for the chime of the door letting me know that he is home safe. Years have passed and the sounds have changed but the feeling is the same. Pure joy in the pleasure of being Zack's mom.

Simply stated: Happy birthday, my sweet boy!

Prom Picture

What good is a blog if you can't shamelessy parade pictures of your children into the blogosphere? This is a picture of Zack and Elizabeth going to prom last week. I, unfortunately, missed the big event because I was attending a conference in Chicago. Zack and Don, however, made sure to email and text me lots of photos. They had a wonderful time at prom and are such great kids. They make us proud!

Simply stated: I'm humming the music to "Sunrise, Sunset"

State of our Union

We've been asked the question often over the past couple of months. "How is Don's job?" (He really likes it by the way). I, on the other hand, have been trying to find an answer that balances the truth with optimism.

I think the heart of the answer actually began about 9 months ago when a little latina tornado entered our world as our firstborn simultaneoulsy left the nest. Change is hard...even good and natural change. And once the change pendulum started to swing it just kept picking up momentum. There was the addition of Maria into our family and the absence of Alex. We homeschooled Caroline and said goodbye to a ministry and co-workers that we loved and respected. Then came Don's job change and new weekly travel schedule. Followed closely by the addition of my part-time job and we've inadvertently created a perfect storm for what feels like merely surviving all the day-to-day demands.

Don and I have developed a divide and conquer battle strategy. Unfortunately, this means that we spend no time together. The good news is that this too shall pass. All of our years of family ministry have taught us that we need to fix this, and fix it fast. We're working on it. (This would be the appropriate time to pick up the phone and offer to keep our girls for an evening:) In the meantime there is great comfort in knowing that Don and I are in this for the long haul and we're ready and willing to do the hardwork to put our marriage back on top of the list of priorities. This is where shared commitment, history, and common goals will prevail over travel schedules, health issues, and pure exhaustion. Notice I intentionally left out the word "love". I love Don with all my being. Love however is an emotion and we know how wishy-washy emotions can be. Now's the time for no-holds-barred commitment and perserverance.

Feel free to ask me the same question in a couple of months when all of the dust of change has settled. In the meantime I'll be doing what I do best to regain control of the mess and mayhem...vacuuming!

Simply stated: Change s*cks! (Please see previous post about appropriate language.)

Gray Matter

When our kids were younger parenting seemed so black and white. And in my naivete, I was confident and consistence in my expectations for my children. Of course I projected that confidence well into the future proclaiming how I would and wouldn't react when my children became teenagers.

But something happened during the last nineteen years. What once was distinctly black and white has blended into varying shades of gray. Some of the grays are beautiful like the shimmer of platinum. We've found that only by allowing some of these gray areas in to our black and white world of parenting can the strength of character in our teens shine through...despite our differences of opinion on non-essentials such as haircuts, clothing, and appropriate language. (Is "crap" a bad word? Leave me comments and let me know your thoughts).

The other spectrum of the gray scale takes on the onimous darkness of an incoming storm. These are the grays where the stakes are higher and the consequences critical. The ones that deal with their futures, their spiritual health, and their preparedness to thrive independently out in the world. How important are A's on the report card? What is the acceptable alternatives? How long do I continue to do all of their cooking and cleaning and laundry? (a letter of apology to my future daughters-in-law will be forthcoming)

My method of parenting teens, whether right or wrong, seems to be to err on the side of grace. Gone are the easy days of absolutes, replaced by a priority on relationship rather than rules. I'm sure someday I'll be sitting with my children and they'll tell me where I went wrong and hopefully a little of what I did right. Hopefully the hard and fast discipline of the earlier days has taken root deep in their being and will be their compass in the storms. I pray they also know that we are always here for them and nothing can ever take away the love that we have for each of our children. In the meanwhile I'll continue to try and blend grace and boundaries into the perfect shade of gray.

Simply stated: Too bad I just can "ask Sherwin Williams!"